Beyond Sunday: That’ll leave a Mark-On your family

…by Kevin McHugh

Greg opened with the question – Who has left a mark on you?  Sitting there I had a small series of flashbacks of those who had influenced me, and while some of them were positive, others were quite the opposite.  Sadly, positive influence to lead me to Jesus did not come from my family growing up.  Happily, my biggest positive influence was sitting right next to me in church, and there were a few others present in the room who have greatly helped me come to faith.

I suppose there are those who have followed a similar path as I have but I am sure there are countless other journeys that have led people to where they are today.  Regardless, that is all the past; and Greg reminded us of why we are here and still have a pulse: To be used by God to change lives.  That’s what we are called to do and in this first installment of the series we are encouraged to start with our family – sure; lead it off with the easy group first – Ha!

We looked at some great examples from the Bible.  There was Mordecai who raised his cousin Esther because her parents were gone, and there was Ruth who stayed with her mother-in-law after her husband died, and there was Paul who took Timothy under his wing like he was family.  These are not random examples because the Bible is not a random book; these things have deep meaning and provide us instruction on what we are supposed to do.

James 1:22 says “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”  There is not much need for interpretation on that one.

Greg left us with 5 phrases that can open new conversations or lead to repair of damaged relationships with our family members.  I hope you have some people in mind with these and that they are offered with sincerity, love and grace.

This is how it works for me…..

I’m concerned about you…..

Can I pray for you?…..

I’m sorry…..

I love you…..

A Better Way to Pray.

A few things changed when I decided many years ago to commit to becoming a “professional Christian.” For one, I became the official “go to” pray-er at all family functions. I think the last time that someone not named Wesley Blackburn prayed for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner was in the 20th century.

But along the way, I’ve discovered that as a person in the ministry that people come to me and are often curious about what spiritual practices in my life look like. Specifically, I’ve had more than a few conversations with some people in the past couple of months just talking about what prayer looks like in my life. Most of us all get this sense that prayer is simply us talking and communicating with God, but I think we lose sight of how that plays out. But I am convinced that prayer is the key element in our cultivating a personal relationship with Jesus. Don’t get me wrong; there is a lot of important stuff that we should make part of our regular spiritual habits and practices. But for me, I keep coming back to prayer. When my prayer life is going well, I feel so connected to God. And conversely, when it’s not, I can definitely tell.

Now, I am far from the world’s leading expert on prayer. But, it’s a key issue, and for the next few weeks here on the Cultivate blog, we’re going to talk all about prayer. How does that happen? Is there a right or a wrong way to pray? Does the Bible tell us how to pray? And how can I make prayer time in my life feel more meaningful or important? We’ll be conquering some questions, and of course, if you have any along the way, feel free to chime in with a comment – we can talk about it!

I feel like to start the discussion, though, we need to say one fundamental thing: I don’t know that the Bible says there is a “right” and “wrong” way to pray, but I do think that the Bible would tell us there’s a better way to pray. In Luke 11:1, the disciples come to Jesus and ask him to teach them how to pray. Apparently, Jesus was praying in a way that was notably different (better?) than all the other religious people of the day, and the disciples were curious. You would think Jesus would answer simply by saying, “C’mon guys! Prayer’s just talking to God!” if there wasn’t any particular rhyme or reason. But instead, Jesus launches into a time of teaching on prayer. In Matthew 6:9, Jesus actually says to his disciples, “This, then, is how you should pray.” Jesus is identifying a particular way to pray.

That seems arrogant. But as the Son of God, maybe Jesus knew what he was talking about.

So what’s the better way to pray?

I think the key comes to us in Matthew 6:8, where Jesus says, “Do not be like them [the people who go babbling on in their prayers], for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

Wait a sec… if God already knows what we need before we ask, then what are we praying for?

Great question. And I think that’s the question at the crux of finding the better way to pray.

If you are anything like me, you’re really tempted to spend most of your time before God asking him for stuff. Maybe it’s physical stuff, maybe it’s help in your life, maybe it’s healing for yourself, a friend, a family member, or something else. But I think if we are all honest, there’s a natural tendency with us to simply ask God for stuff. I don’t think the Bible speaks against this at all. In fact, there are several areas that seem to confirm it. But the point of prayer isn’t to just ask God for stuff.

I think that a lot of us are missing out on the full experience of prayer. Yeah, asking for things is all well and good, but if that’s all we do in our prayer lives, we’re only experiencing about 20% of what prayer is and can be. There’s so much more.

What’s that “much more?” Well, I think there are a few things. We’ll explore those more in-depth over the next few weeks. But for now, I’d love to encourage you to take a challenge this week in your own prayer times with God: at least once a day for the next week, spend some time in prayer with God and don’t ask him for anything. Just spend time with him. Express whatever you want to him. But don’t ask anything.

But that’s gonna be weird!

Yeah, you’re probably right. But I guarantee you, it will help you begin to unlock the full experience of what prayer can be for a follower of Christ.

Happy praying! I can’t wait until we get to explore some more next week.

Beyond Sunday: I have a friend who…wonders why God allows suffering

…by Randy Parish

This Sunday was the topic that I probably hear the most questions about.  Why does God allow suffering and where is God when I suffer?  This whole series on “I have a friend who” wasn’t one where you came and got 3 or 4 steps that if you followed, your life would be perfect.  It tackled some difficult topics.

I think John 16:33 really sums this week up with “In this world you will have trouble”.  No mistake about that, expect it.  What we do with that trouble, helps define us.

Do we look at God as the overprotective parent, and someone who needs to protect us from the hard times this life has to offer?  Think about your own kids, you want to protect them from things that you learned from experience that did not have pleasant outcomes.  You had to learn from your choices and your experience.  Telling your 2 or 3 year old the stove is hot, just wants to make him touch it all the more.  And you know as soon as your back is turned, they are going to touch it.  But with the pain comes experience.  God’s giving us freedom at Creation also came with some risk on our part.  The risk of making bad choices and the risk of a not so perfect life.

If we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit that some of our suffering comes from our own poor choices.  We knew it probably wasn’t the best decision at the time, but we did it anyway.  Sometimes we learn from that, sometimes we continue to make the same mistake and suffer for it.  If we think our suffering is not from our bad choices, it can make us bitter not better.

What if we didn’t make any bad choices?  What if we think we have lived the life of a “saint”?  It’s OK to question God.  We do live lives though that we want immediate answers.  We want to know why me.   We only want the black and white, because if we know the problem, we can then make it go away.

If we question, we also have to be open to the answers.  God will always be there with His comfort, with His endurance and with His strength.  You are not strong enough to go it alone; He will walk with you, no matter what.  God is there to overcome.

Suffering is inevitable, misery is optional.  “In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”

Torn.

So, in light of this week’s message on suffering, I thought it might be good to talk about the book Torn this week by Jud Wilhite. I just finished reading it recently and found it to be especially poignant to this whole issue. Torn is all about what to do when we feel like our lives are bursting at the seams with suffering, pain, and difficulty. In the book, Wilhite encourages his readers to examine how the Bible and faith intersects with the whole issue of pain and suffering.

It’s so hard to stay strong and continue in faith when you feel like your life is tearing apart at the seams. Yet, that’s the reality we live in. Sin has marred our world. Sometimes, we find life difficult at the hand of others’ sinful choices. Sometimes we find it difficult because of our own. And sometimes, for reasons totally unrelated or unbeknownst to us, we just find life crashing down all around us. And then, we are torn… looking for a way to bring the pieces back together, and trying to figure out how faith fits into all of it.

Wilhite really does a good job of forcing us to get beyond the why question and to start asking the question that can really help us pull out of pain: Who? Who are you going to trust in? Yourself? Or are you going to bring all you have to God and trust him to make up the difference? Asking why is okay for a season. But if we never move on to focusing on who we trust in, we’ll never come out of a “torn” type of season. Instead, we’ll just be faced with a load of bitterness, angst, and anger toward God, others, and whoever else might find themselves in our path.

Torn is a great book to read, especially when you are journeying through a rough patch and looking for answers. I’m glad I got the chance to read it, to hear some of Wilhite’s wisdom and story, and most of all, to be directed back to a God who helps us piece things together through it all.

Beyond Sunday- I have a friend who…struggles with depression

…by Tina Hines

Whether or not you actually have dealt with depression on some level or you have a friend who does.…. this series is very real, current and helpful.

Thinking through what Greg presented with how to “struggle through depression” reminded me of how important it is to spend some much needed time with God. When we ask “Why God?” and “What do you want me to learn in this circumstance I am in?”  We need to remember His faithfulness to us and look at our past.  Even more, we need to, we must – move forward into refreshment. 

 

I have found a few ways to be refreshed in God.  In this beautiful season of spring, we have the ability to simply get outside.  To walk or sit and just breath in the freshness of a sunny day.  Have you done that lately?  The glory of God through nature is very refreshing. Another way is taking the time to sit and open God’s word and listen to what He has to say to you.  As I did this, I came across a few scripture references you may find helpful as you open your bible.

 

References on Anxiety:  Psalm 145:18, 1Peter 5:7 and Philippians 4:6-8.  Depression:  Romans 8:28. Loneliness:  Psalm 147:3.

 

After reading through those scriptures I landed on thinking about Peace.

The true “peace of God…(written in Phil 4:6-8)….which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and guard your mind in Christ Jesus”. There is peace, spiritual joy, comfort, loving-kindness, help and hope in God found while reading Psalm 42.  Take some time to re-read it, out loud – if at all possible, and be refreshed.

Examen.me: A Great Online Journaling Resource

Hey guys! We are back this week with another resource update. This one is found online at Examen.me. It’s a great online journaling resource intended to get you connected to God both through engaging with Scripture and also in prayer. Today, we’ll be focusing on it as a resource to engage with Scripture.

First, you simply need to go to examen.me and create an account. This is quick, easy, painless, and most importantly, free. I’ve been a member on Examen for a little while now, and I’ll attest that I very rarely receive any e-mails from them. So, don’t worry about getting spammed with offers and that sort of thing.

After logging in, you’ll be taken to the home screen, and you can click on the option to “Start an examen.” There are several options, all of which simply affect what type of Scripture you’ll be reading and thinking about that day. You can do a gospel examen centered on the life and ministry of Jesus, a New Testament examen, an Old Testament examen, or one from selected readings in the Psalms. Each examen will ask you to do the following five things:

• Write a brief prayer to God before you open up the Scripture for that day.
• Read through the Scripture a few times and then re-write it in your own words (a surprisingly helpful exercise, for me at least).
• Think and reflect on what the Scripture is saying to you, and then journal your thoughts.
• Capture what you’ve thought about and now write it out as a prayer to God for that day.
• Think about how you can align the principles in what you read that day into your daily life.

What’s even cooler is that Examen will save your previous examens in a record. So, you could login and look at something you read and wrote months or years ago and track your progress and growth along the way.

When I get in a rut in terms of my spiritual practices, Examen is a great way for me to re-engage with them. It helps get me back on track and really thinking about God’s word, which is one of the most transformational practices that we can do as a part of our regular routine!

So head over to examen.me and check it out!

On the Run.

by Rachel Kaser

Sometimes the simple day to day things – a comment made by a friend; a quote read in passing; a song on the radio – can be God’s way of speaking to us in life.

I was out for a run at my favorite local park the other day and made a turn on the trail to see a man and his (large) dogs up ahead.  Now, what you have to know about me is that as crazy as it is to be a runner and deathly afraid of dogs, that is exactly what I am.  To make matters even more frightening for me, this man had let his dogs off of their leash (a park no-no), so I pulled up and waited a few (safe) feet away until he saw me, realized my dilemma, and grabbed his dogs to put them on the leash.  As much as I fear dogs – and am slightly annoyed by their owners when they don’t follow the leash rule – I always feel guilt for inconveniencing them, so as I quickly pass I generally say something like, “Just don’t want them to take off chasing me – then you’ll get a run in!”  They usually respond kindly, and this man was no different.  He said, “You’re a moving target!  Enjoy the day!”  I smiled and ran off, but what he said tossed over and over in my mind for miles.

First, the phrase “you’re a moving target.”  I want God to see me as a woman after His own heart, constantly trying to listen to Him and then obey what He asks – no questions asked.  In that way, I am His target – a well marked and out there spot to which He can direct His desires.  As a moving target, I don’t mean that I am trying to dodge His will or pray He’ll miss me with His crazy ideas, but rather that I’ll be always on the move, trying to fulfill His desires and live life to the full as He leads me.  This may seem, as Mark Batterson puts it, like a wild goose chase as He and I try to hunt each other down, but that’s exactly what He put inside us – a longing to live a life bigger than ourselves and an untamed sense of adventure.  I don’t ever want God to find me standing still – I’d rather fail trying to follow and obey Him then succeed at doing nothing at all.

Second, “Enjoy the day.”  How many of us who have been Christians a long time forget the joy of life?  This “chase” isn’t supposed to be a drag or a competition, it’s a game of challenging, stretching and adapting ourselves only to find more than we could ever ask or imagine.

So focus today on being a moving target and enjoying the day.  Listen for the ways God is asking you to move, and then do it with joy and the confidence that He is for you.

Beyond Sunday-I have a friend who…wrestles with doubt.

by…Gordon Barker

The main reason I decided to make Suncrest my church is the openness and honesty in teaching.  This week is a perfect example of that.  Doubt is a very real issue for many people, both before a commitment to follow Christ and after.  It is also an issue that can be very difficult for a preacher to admit to and teach about.

I have the skeptical, make sure you never make a mistake, personality that Greg described on Sunday.  Because of this it is not surprising that I am a person that continuously wrestles with doubt, and that this message was very personal to me.  I really struggled to narrow this reflection down to a few points because the entire message resonated so directly with me.  But here is what I want to make sure that I take with me:

-          Faith and doubt are two sides of the same coin.  Belief only exists with an element of doubt.

-          God welcomes our questions.  God and His message to us through the Bible are the Truth.  And truth has no fear from questions.

-          Pursue God and truth like we are searching for treasure.

For many of us, God did not make faith obvious or easy.  Life is busy and there are many things pulling for our time and attention.  It can be very easy to put off the hard things.  Pursuing something aggressively like we would pursue treasure is a hard thing.  I know that the times in my life when my relationship with God is thriving are the times when I am aggressively searching, trusting and obeying.  It is my choice to give this pursuit the proper priority in my life.

God is faithful, and will help us with our struggles and doubts when we seek Him with open hearts and minds.  The challenge for all of us to ask ourselves is “Will I give the pursuit of faith the seriousness in my life that it deserves?”

Beyond Sunday-Way of the Cross: Coming Home

…by Michael Switzer

Well, we all have stories and moments of happiness and sadness that shape our lives. Personally, I’m close to burn out maintaining so many expectations and components that I get into a rhythm of doing for the sake of completing. It takes a message like the one taught on Sunday to make me ask ‘am I juggling for the right reasons?’

 

I have so much to be thankful for but without constantly stepping back to reflect on the essence of my life’s actions, day to day tasks begin to look and feel meaningless. It’s the essence of our lives that gives color and meaning to our day to day tasks.

 

I think part of the reason for my near burn out (and I wonder if anyone resonates with this) is first and foremost not saying ‘no’ but secondly, I allow the things I say yes to define me and my ‘life story.’ No doubt they’re a major part of my story but they have become the reason for my existence.

 

The essence of our story should be unchanging while the situation, people, environment around us are in a constant state of flux. When we root our spirit in the here and now, tie it to our current situation and state of affairs, we run the high risk of meandering into a dull purposeless daily life. Founding ourselves in the essence of Jesus, tying our understanding and purpose of all the ancillary components of life to Him, and living life centered in His unchanging being places the good times and bad times of our stories in their proper place. Life is probably more freeing and less likely to approach burn out when we (I) don’t place so much attention and value on the ups and downs of our great stories and when we don’t allow pieces of our story to so deeply define us. I’m feeling a bit of a relief focusing on a unified vision with Jesus as the essence of my story rather than exerting so much energy trying to avoid pains and profit from happiness.

 

Who Am I Listening To… Really?

Have you ever asked that question?

So far in 2012, we’ve heard some great stories and good conversations about people who’ve really decided to make an effort to take ten minutes a day to listen to God. We even had a series of messages on it in January and February.

But I still get it mixed up sometimes. Even right now, I’m in the process of making a decision, and somewhere I am afraid that I might have gotten my wires crossed, and thought I heard from God when I was really just hearing what I wanted to hear or maybe what I had for dinner that night. Perhaps you have felt the same sometimes, or asked the same question.

Recently, I’ve read a book called The Power of a Whisper by Bill Hybels, and I ran across this list and found it super helpful. I hope you will too. And while you’re at it, you may just want to read the whole book. I’m sure we’ll post about it on here soon. But for now, the Bill Hybels list of the five tests to see if a whisper is really from God (taken straight from The Power of a Whisper, pp. 267-269):

1. Is the prompting truly from God? Whenever you receive a prompting – whether from God directly or through the lips of another – take whatever time is necessary to ask, “God, is this message from you? Does this square with who I know you to be? Is it consistent with your character? Is it aligned with your attributes? Is this you trying to convey something to me, or are there other voices getting into my head?” Before taking a single step to obey the whisper you’ve received, be sure you get the all-clear that the voice you have heard could be from God.

2. Is it Scriptural? Scripture is replete with examples of how God would behave in any given life situation, and the Example’s name is Jesus Christ. Whenever I sense a prompting from God, I ask myself if I could imagine Jesus doing whatever action the prompting is suggesting I do. If I can’t envision Jesus following suit, I fear my wires somehow must have gotten crossed. Check every prompting you receive against the thematic teachings of Scripture. Messages that contradict Scripture are not from God.

3. Is it wise? God’s whispers rarely go against wisdom and common sense. The entire book of Proverbs is devoted to dissecting wisdom and all her attributes. For example, the wise one loves knowledge, while the fool hates it; the wise one practices gentle speech, while the fool uses harsh, incendiary words; the wise one lives blamelessly, while the fool is utterly corrupt; the wise one follows a straight path, while the fool rejoices in the perverseness of evil; the wise one inherits honor, while the fool is held up to shame. Scripture is relentless in exhorting us to be wise in all our dealings, to be wise in all our ways.

God’s direction rarely violates the wisdom test. Be sure you’re not sidestepping what is wise in favor of acting quickly on whispers. If God is indeed in the plan, it will likely not involve blatantly unwise action.

4. Is it in tune with your own character? I caution people against running headlong into a field that is totally foreign to their wiring patterns, their education, their expertise and their experience in life thus far. It’s not that God can’t endorse a dramatic 180-degree turn. It’s just that typically when he does so, it gets affirmed through a series of whispers, from several sources, in a variety of ways.

5. What do the people you most trust think about it? Whenever you sense that God is speaking to you, find two or three veteran Christ-followers – preferably people who know you well and who are further down the spiritual path than you are – and take some time to describe the situation to them in detail. Humbly ask them, “Do you think God really did speak to me? Is this the voice of God I’m hearing, or in your estimation did I get my wires crossed?” Then, listen openly and intently to the answers you receive, because they might just save your hide. Subject every prompting to the godly counsel test. It will save you from boatloads of heartache and might just affirm God’s best will for your life.

I hope that helps guys! And keep sending in your listening stories – I love hearing them!